Words... Anew...
It has been a while. I've lost count of the years I didn't pick up a pen, or open a notepad to write.
I have since avoided silence. Silence scared me to death. That's the time I can clearly hear my head screaming of thoughts I can never blurt out.
These thoughts were more than scary. They were, and still are, threatening.
How do you manage random thoughts, unanswerable questions, undefined feelings and uncontrollable emotions?
How do you address each rant of the mind?
How do you make sense of all these?
Or, how do you make them go away?
Right now, I just realized I am writing three things at the same time. One is about writing, the other one is about smoking--or quitting, and the last one is about---well, love.
I feel like I'm starting to be loopy, or looney, whichever way you want to put it. They aren't that different anyway.
It just feels so surreal having to be in touch with my mind again. Although I'm sure none of you cares.
See? That, maybe, is one reason why many of us never dare to push those letters. Because they think nobody would even mind. Nobody would even care. Nobody would even listen.
Look here. Ain't it a hoot that most of us do things wary about what people would think or say about it?
It took me 31 horrible years to finally let go of essay structures, grammar, and expectations. Or demands, or what's in, or how people would receive my thoughts.
For now, I just want to be unleashed and stop holding back.
For once, I want to succumb to all these words, and roll with them.
And go wherever it would lead me.
From this moment onwards, I won't be bound by anything.
I'll just let it all out... And be free...
I have since avoided silence. Silence scared me to death. That's the time I can clearly hear my head screaming of thoughts I can never blurt out.
These thoughts were more than scary. They were, and still are, threatening.
How do you manage random thoughts, unanswerable questions, undefined feelings and uncontrollable emotions?
How do you address each rant of the mind?
How do you make sense of all these?
Or, how do you make them go away?
Right now, I just realized I am writing three things at the same time. One is about writing, the other one is about smoking--or quitting, and the last one is about---well, love.
I feel like I'm starting to be loopy, or looney, whichever way you want to put it. They aren't that different anyway.
It just feels so surreal having to be in touch with my mind again. Although I'm sure none of you cares.
See? That, maybe, is one reason why many of us never dare to push those letters. Because they think nobody would even mind. Nobody would even care. Nobody would even listen.
Look here. Ain't it a hoot that most of us do things wary about what people would think or say about it?
It took me 31 horrible years to finally let go of essay structures, grammar, and expectations. Or demands, or what's in, or how people would receive my thoughts.
For now, I just want to be unleashed and stop holding back.
For once, I want to succumb to all these words, and roll with them.
And go wherever it would lead me.
From this moment onwards, I won't be bound by anything.
I'll just let it all out... And be free...
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