... just off the top of my head ...

So, I have been meaning to blog about this for a few years now. Who would have thought that this would be the trigger that would finally push me to go hit the keyboard and write about it. So, go on. Check this clip out. What does it look like to you? This isn’t one fun ride to the end of the rainbow where all the gold and gems will be found, and if you’re lucky enough, you can find cute Leprechauns and maybe meet your prince charming there. This, obviously, isn't it. Does it look awful? It surely does.  But hey, I think Mama Earth has all the right to go ballistic   and all, don’t you think? We can’t blame her even if she throws a fit and decides to throw us fire balls and bring us to a doom. Don’t you feel sad walking just a meter away from your house and you’ve already come across a ton of waste? Or when you go to the park and you can’t sit on the grass anymore because 1, there’s no more grass left or 2, our trash has already occupied the space or 3, there...

It has been a while. I've lost count of the years I didn't pick up a pen, or open a notepad to write. I have since avoided silence. Silence scared me to death. That's the time I can clearly hear my head screaming of thoughts I can never blurt out. These thoughts were more than scary. They were, and still are, threatening. How do you manage random thoughts, unanswerable questions, undefined feelings and uncontrollable emotions? How do you address each rant of the mind? How do you make sense of all these? Or, how do you make them go away? Right now, I just realized I am writing three things at the same time. One is about writing, the other one is about smoking--or quitting, and the last one is about---well, love. I feel like I'm starting to be loopy, or looney, whichever way you want to put it. They aren't that different anyway. It just feels so surreal having to be in touch with my mind again. Although I'm sure none of you cares. See? That, ma...

The past years? Nothing but work, alcohol and sticks of cigar. One stick after another, after another, after another, and it went on and on and on.. It was with so much difficulty, and of course a heavy heart, that I had to give up smoking for my job application. From two to three packs of cigarette a day, I had to totally let go of it because my lungs should be stain free for me to get this job. I was proud---Oh so proud! I kept telling my friends, who were still smokers at that time, that I've been smoke free for three LONG months! Guess what? While writing this, I am currently having my second stick after having one a couple of minutes ago. Lame! So it's true. Quitting is never so easy. It's like breaking up with the guy you love, but you end up snuggling him all over again. It's like depriving yourself of a bag for a month, but you end up buying two the next month. I started smoking when I was 12. Of course it was kept private. N...

It has been one hell of a year. Well, it was an exaggeration of course...... I was 29, going on 30. Somehow, I was burned out, frustrated, depressed. I just needed a full 360-degree turn. Or maybe two. I was working for 17-20 hours a day. Though I had a really good position at work, long hours of working didn't give me much life to live. I woke up one day my aunt, who took care of me, gone without me seeing her for a few months. Then my dad gone after 8 months, without me by his side. All these because I was away from home--working my butt out. It took me a few months to finally send this application to apply for a position in Japan. Kind of ironic, right? Why Japan? Why far away from my family? When in fact, I missed a lot back home because of work. Silly? Hold your horses! There's more. The job opening was far from the jobs I've done. For 9 years, I was either a trainer, a project coordinator for materials and course development, or a manager. Al...

I expected the day to be very busy. I was so excited for I know that I will be productive in the sense that I’ll be able to send my nephew back to school after acquiring and surrendering all the requirements asked. I never thought it would be a long and not so ordinary day. Going out of Guiguinto Vocational High school with smile on our faces for having mission one accomplished, my nephew told me that he couldn’t stand his hunger anymore. And so, we went to ‘Lola’s Place’. It is where he usually ate when he was still studying there (for he dropped out last school year). I don’t know if this is coincidence that led us to where a known foe, together with his gang is. He wasn’t actually my nephew’s mortal enemy, but my niece’s (long story). Anyway, he ate there. While eating, those kids were shouting “ O suntukan na lang!!!” “Uy mataba!” (pertaining to me). I guess they thought I was my nephew’s girlfriend. I looked straight to the eye of this kid and he looked back with the same intensit...

Today, my second nephew had his recognition. He was his class's first honor. He was also awarded as the first in Spelling, Math, Science and General Information Quiz Bee. The feeling was more than overwhelming. It's just  indescribable.   I mean, we did not expect anything from him, even though we know that he's no ordinary kid. This thing, is just a  bonus for our family. I can still remember bringing him to school during his summer class before entering formal education. I would wait for him outside on a swing. We were very anxious because he still has a lot of difficulties in speaking that time (although up until now, his speaking is not yet perfect--he's 13). He's different. He is special. He's well-disciplined, he's very obedient, he's very friendly and always cheerful, he never speaks ill of others and is not capable of harming anyone. Now, he's in grade five, and still very innocent, is always afraid of committing mistakes and always trying ...